Quitting

I've been doing a lot of internal debating, quite a bit of internet reading, and listening to friends' stories about quitting the paci.  Or as it's known in our house, the bapi.  Jack seems to be growing more and more addicted as the days go on..  I've been wondering when is the time?  How do we do it?  I can't wait for the bapi free days.  The ease of not wondering where they are.  Knowing you have about 30 in the house, but cannot find a single one.  I look forward to not "cleaning" them off after falling on the ground in the mall, the parking lot, the yard.  I also dream about the future when we are bapi free and don't have to do a bapi hand off similar to a play action fake. 

Today I was putting Jack in the car around his nap time and he was frantically requesting a bapi.  I obliged, pulled it out of my back pocket, sucked the lint off, and placed it into my little boy's mouth.  He promptly took it out and dropped it.  Somewhere in the back of my car.  Now if you have seen the floorboards in the backseat of my car (or any mother's car) you would understand the panic that ensued.  Where the hell did it go?  Jack is asking yelling screaming "BAPI", I'm sweating and frantically moving the diaper bag, Brobee, the cart cover, 5 books, 2 toys, baby hiking boots (more on that later), and resort to getting in the backseat, cllimbing over jack, and hanging out of the car.  All in front of school.  Jack's school.  His new school.  Yup, I'm sure they flagged our file as questionable parenting.  The 2 years

ago me totally would have too.  5 minutes, 1 pinched kid, and what feels like a small workout later I found the bapi.  Thank god.

Lesson learned:  Pack 2 bapis at all times.  And no, we are not quitting this month.  I'm not ready yet.